'Perfectionism vs Honesty' chat

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IllyDragonfly's avatar
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Hi people!
It's been a long while since my last journal. I prefer using status because it gives me the excuse to talk in rhymes... just training for poetry, it's creative and it's just a few lines.
Can you imagine a whole journal in rhymes? Ugh. :iconraisinsplz:
By the way! I posted a poll very recently (this one illydragonfly.deviantart.com/j… )
asking you guys if I should use computer technology more to edit my cosplay photos (in case you are a random visitor yes. I'm one of those geeks who walk around wearing imaginary characters outfits and acting weird, and I'm proud of it! *Free Icon/Emote* Sailor Mew Pusheen (So Fabulous)  ). I think I alarmed some of my friends, because a ton of people was for the 'Nope!' Nope, and it surprised me. Then I started thinking about the topic of my poll. I have some questions for you (I swear, I want to know your opinion, I'm not provoking or similar!):

:bulletgreen: Do you think it's like 'lying' or similar if you edit your own photos to make them look better?
:bulletgreen: Do you think it's just 'the best version of yourself' when you post a retouched picture of yourself?
:bulletgreen: Using a lot of makeup for you is a sign of low self esteem or a way to hide blemish and similar?
:bulletgreen: Do you consider everything (makeup, poses to enhance your body type, post-editing) like tools of the artist to strive for perfection?

It's a pretty heavy chat, but I'd really like to know your opinion. Because in this very material world perfection is something you see in every magazine, in tv, on the Internet... and almost nobody feels beautiful and perfect all the time. I feel often ugly in the worst days or mediocre in the best ones, no joke.
Really, the most of the time when I look at myself I don't feel attractive. At school I was bullied a lot because I was sturdier and taller than others, and when you hear for years people telling 'You are ugly! You are fat! You are weird!' I guess your self esteem doesn't go through the roof... it's more likely it jumps out the window to die (sorry, dark humour XD) 
I stopped caring about people's opinions during the high school, but just because I became really bitter, pissed off and defensive the most of the time. My attitude was quite bad, I have to admit it. 
I felt better and at peace just during university, even if I had to lose weight more than once to stay healthy (I seriously panted after some floors of stairs, and this is not good when you are 20) and I have to say 'Thank you' to my mother and my beloved and my longtime friends because they were always supporting when I needed it and they were willing to kick my ass when I needed that.
Then I started cosplaying, in 2014. It's funny, but since I started I became less shy, I started talking with people more willingly and make new friends. Some are still my friends, some aren't, but I feel much more positive about people. 

Why am I talking about all of this all of sudden, you might ask.
I'm NOT looking for compliments or pity or similar, just talking about my personal context because I'd like you to feel at ease talking about how you feel about yourself. Feel free to talk to me, even on private: I don't tell others' secrets.
And about the cosplay/poll matter just let me just clarify a little thing: I'm ALREADY altering the imagine I give to the world. Before going to a comiccon I wear some makeup to hide blemishes and the dark circles under the eyes (yes, I'm like Nosferatu, fsssssss!  Dracula Lugosi ), I wear beige stockings to hide the blemishes on my legs -and I have a LOT to hide, from cellulite to stretchmarks and even capillaries, ugh!- I wear a very stuffed bra to make my clothes fit better and make my pear shaped body look more like an hourglass, and I wear high heels to make my legs look slender. 
I DON'T DO this regularly. Most of the time I put on sport wear, some sunscreen and lipbalm and ready! Let's conquer the world! Yeah  Makeup and cute outfits for me are just a way to express myself, and just when I'm in the mood.
Plus I'm ALREADY altering all the photos I take using a software which was included with the camera when I bought it, and I can change the lights and the colors to make them look more or less vibrant: I use it by default because often the light situation where I take photos is not that great.

What I'm CONSIDERING now is the idea of using more editing in the photos to make my makeup (especially when I wear greasepaint) look more uniform, and when I should have different colored eyes... because I'm not going to wear contacts. Sorry, don't like stuff on my eyeballs, it freaks me out! :omgomg: 
That's all. No gigantic boobs, perfect skin and skinny body look with the computer for me in the future. I'm not going to try to edit my photos for self esteem problems... I'm just that kind of person who hates when you wear a white face and your shoulders betray your real skin color. Anticlimactic? Sorry. XD

Alright, I feel like I babbled enough, sorry if this journal confused you more than the poll. I just wanted an excuse to talk with you XD. This weekend I'm away for more comiccons, and will have fun. More cosplay photos in the future, sorry for my stalkers who aren't into it. I love you a lot. 
Have a nice day and stay positive, you are beautiful inside and out! :blowkiss:
Kiss kiss
:iconillydragonfly:







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HyperactiveParanoid's avatar
Per rispondere alle tue domande, io avevo votato che per me non cambiava tanto. Nelle foto professionali di cosplay ci sono sempre dei ritocchi, non troverai mai delle foto belle di cosplay che non siano state ritoccate in qualche modo, e onestamente trovo che sia anche quello parte dell'arte della fotografia, proprio perché non stai proprio modificando la forma del corpo o facendo fotomanipolazione, ma stai semplicemente abbellendo una foto. 

Io non mi trucco in genere perché non ho la pazienza di alzarmi presto ogni mattina per dipingermi la faccia XD Non ho un'autostima al massimo ma mi accetto più o meno. Solo nelle occasioni speciali mi trucco ^__^

Devo dire che anche a me il cosplay ha fatto quell'effetto, perché alla fine la gente ti guarda per il personaggio che interpreti e ti stima per il fatto che lo conosci, quindi puoi essere più libera dal punto di vista estetico. Ho fatto proprio un lavoro di ricerca per la scuola riguardo a questa dualità della libertà di essere più te stessi indossando una maschera, perché è un tema molto interessante ^__^ Sappi che qualunque cosa fai ti voglio bene e ti sostengo sempre :D